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It changes the guy and, in turn, changes the relationship.As a result, the relationship usually suffers and, in the case of this example, ends.I don’t think it’s that guys don’t want to deal with the breakup…I think it’s more that they wouldn’t even know how or where to begin… but if I could go back and tell my 15-year-old self a piece of advice about breakups, it would be, “If you get dumped, just move on right away.
It has its cost though and eventually devolves into a crippling neediness.
Move on immediately, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and heartache.” MORE: Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?
A guy once told me that, “A man is devastated at the end of a relationship to the extent to which he sold himself out.” What does it mean for a guy to sell himself out (in the context of a relationship)?
Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.
In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.