Investment banker online dating spreadsheet

Posted by / 25-Jul-2019 12:08

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. Agitato: A state of mind when ones finger slips in the middle of playing a piece. Agent: Someone who believs an actor takes 85 percent of his money. Alcazar: What the Spaniards took for an upset stomach. A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets; 2. A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is. Asylum: A refuge where unusual people are protected from the world. August: The month you can’t open the bus window which you couldn’t close in December. Auto Driver: A person who speeds up to get in front of you so he can slow down. An unmarried man who has been singularly lucky in his love affairs; 28. Balanced Meal: One from which the diner has a fifty-fifty change of recovery. Ballet: Dance performed to classical music in an elegant theater before tearful, enraptured wives accompanied by bored, distracted husbands. When the local tavern keeper bets his tavern and loses. A device used by drunks to prove the law of gravity. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband; 4. A quality much admired in women, landscapes and tropical fish, but curiously out of favour in art throughout the modern era; 6. Bed & Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves. Beer Coat: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at AM. Belladonna: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English, a deadly poison.

Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry. Something which often puts the wreck in recreation; 3. In ancient Greece, Alpha was used to refer to things that didn’t meet specifications (i.e. The first ’test version’ of computer software is referred to as an Alpha release. Altar Ego: Obnoxious, conceited personality that is revealed by the seemingly modest groom when taking his wedding vows. An itching sensation caused by inflammation of the wishbone; 3. What it takes to get where you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered. Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election; 2. Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under. A selfish, callous, undeserving man who has cheated some worthy woman out of a divorce; 29. One who knows when he receives a Christmas present he won’t have to pay for it later; 31. The only species of big game for which the license is taken out after the safari; 33. Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash. Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits. Barnstorming: Brainstorm for pullet-zer prize winners. Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. Barracks: Where cabarets and fine restaurants keep their bottles of wine. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think. A place where women can let their hair down while it’s being put up; 2. Beer Compass: The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you’re too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you’ve come from. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. A striking example of how important it is to know the language you are speaking.

Ah: (Southern) The thing you see with, denoting individuality. Alderman: An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding. When a bride continues to get wedding gifts after the divorce; 15. That which enables a woman who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried; 17. Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world. Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. Anatomy: Something that everybody has, but it looks much better on a girl. Arahnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. Animal Rights: A loopy, well-intentioned activist movement that, in its extreme form, harbors more compassion for a captive circus elephant than for the hapless trainer on whose face it sits. Anthologist: A lazy fellow who like to spend a quiet evening at home “raiding a good book.” Antibody: 1. Antipathy: The sentiment inspired by one’s friend’s friend. An object that has made a round trip to the attic; 2. Appeaser: One who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last. Apron: A large primate moving very fast on his feet. Arab: A man who will pull down a whole temple to have a stone to sit on. The science of digging around to find another civilization to blame ours on; 3. Archaeology: A science that proves you can’t keep a good man down. Ardelve: To make a big display of searching all your pockets when approached by a charity collector. A man who has taken many a girl out but has never been taken in; 38. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit; 40. Bachelor Girl: A girl who is still looking for a bachelor. Badaptation: A bad movie version of a good book Badify: To make something worse.

Usage: “Ah think Ah’ve got somethin’ in mah ah.” Ahead: The thing on top of your neck. Air: A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor. Alfred Nobel: A man who endowed the world with dynamite and prizes to discourage its use. Giving comfort to the enemy; 7 man’s best proof that you have to pay for your mistakes; 8. The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof; 18. American History: The replacement of the red Indian by red tape. Animals: Creatures that do not grab for more when they have enough. Annualism: Books written by authors who show off their powers of endurance by doing something odd for a year. Something no one would be seen with if there were more of them; 3. Appendicitis: A modern pain, costing about ,000 more than the old-fashioned stomach ache. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work for Mc Donald’s. Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop. Are: (Southern) Possessive case of “we” used as a predicate adjective (? A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first; 2. Arrested Development: Prerequisite for success as a radio DJ or a social satirist. Like morality, art consists in drawing the line somewhere. Art School: A place for young girls to pass the time between high school and marriage. The only man who has never told his wife a lie; 41. Bachelor’s Life: Just one un-darned thing after another.

An art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing; 2. ADA: Something you need only know the name of to be an expert in computing. Provider of decisio Administratiumns that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. An independent state, highly taxing yet often insolvent, located just beyond comprehension; 2. Blotter: Something you look for while the ink dries. Bozone Layer: The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. A game in which a wife is always eager to do her husband’s bidding. Bronchitis: Fear of the Broncos winning the Super Bowl again. Something that makes you tell your mother before your sister does; 15. Cousin: The relative most likely to be responsible for your trouble.

Ad Libber: A man who stays up all night to memorize spontaneous joe-ks. Adherent: A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. The quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service; 2. Bubblegum: Candy one’s mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children. Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Caricature: The tribute that mediocrity pays to genius. The still small voice that makes you feel still smaller; 8. The quality that keeps a woman smiling when a departing guest stands at the open screen door and lets the flies in. The period during which a man spends so much on his girlfriend that he finally marries her for his money; 4.

Addis Ababa: The torrent of incomprehensible gibberish which emanates from the loudspeakers on top of cars covered in stickers. Breaking The Seal: Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. Bubble Memory: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person’s intelligence. Budge It: If stuck with your debt, you can’t do this. A bunch of figures that prove you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place; 2. A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward; 4. A plan that tells you what you can afford to spend but doesn’t keep you from spending more; 8. What you can’t do to a woman’s mind once it’s made up; 10. The activity of “debugging,” or removing bugs from a program, ends when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed. Bull: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter. Carcinoma: A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. The fellow who has made the last payment on his car. A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen - and not enough U. That sixth sense that comes to our aid when we are doing wrong and tells us that we are about to get caught; 7. A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better; 3. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that’s powered by a running rodent. Crambo: Watching a Stallone movie a dozen times in a week.

Buffet Dinner: Where the hostess doesn’t have enough chairs for everybody. What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny screen for more than 15 minutes; 2. timber from forests), or by storing it in sealed reservoirs (i.e. One who is more interested in plots and plans than in pots and pans; 3. Career Woman: One who goes out and earns a man’s salary instead of sitting at home and taking it away from him. Carperpetuation: The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. A floor covering that is bought by the yard and worn by the foot; 2. Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes. Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftover leftovers. Conflusion: What the public feels in response to an endless stream of contradictory news about H1N1 influenza. Confushion: A chaotic dissarray where everyone feels very safe and secure. A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs; 4. CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

naturally by plants in their growth; artificially by various means), and then prevented from returning to the atmosphere by the creation of products with long-term use (i.e. Regardless of what the passenger says, the following are not acceptable as carry-on items: bicycles, steamer trunks, refrigerators, truck tires, or wide-screen projection TVs. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. What you have before fully understanding the situation. One who thinks that the only thoroughly justified marriage was the one that produced him; 2. Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team. A body of men brought together to slow down the government; 3. A person who insists on convincing you instead of letting you convince him; 2.

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A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth of power. Someone who would rather have a small role than a long loaf; 7. Actor’s Agent: A guy who sometimes bites the ham who feeds him. Admissions Office: Where you’re taken to admit that you’ve mooned the keynote speaker during ’new student weekend.’ Admonition: 1. A period in which children begin to question the answers; 4. Biscuit Dough: A primitive adhesive used extensively and successfully by brides to prevent loss of their wedding bands. Blonde Joe-ks: Joe-ks that are short so men can understand them. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. Boaster: A person with whom it is sooner done than said. BP: Company in Gulf of Mexico that turns your barbecue into a tarbecue. The thing you are forced to use if you haven’t much formal education; 3. What a man looks for in a wife, after not using any in selecting one; 2. Briefcase: A trial where the jury gets together and forms a lynching party. An inner voice that warns us somebody is looking; 17. Consciousness-Raising: The fine art of teaching well-adjusted citizens to view themselves as victims of oppression.

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